Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

Not a bad phrase to embrace. Rather than calculating each move, each thought, each plan, perhaps I need to do more of this “living by the seat of my pants.”

Right before leaving for Seattle last month, my older brother David, asked if I could consider coming out to California as a surprise for our dad’s birthday toward the end of April. He helped me plan this and, with our sister Suzanne having also recently been back in the hospital herself, this sounded great from a perspective of “a positive shot in the arm of family love!”

Then Ethan landed back in the hospital. That was a game-changer; I was not going to travel outside of the home-hospital radius while Ethan’s path was so unclear. Scott, however, (as well as some very convincing friends) had different thoughts. He pointed to how many days remained before I had to decide, and how it could truly be a last minute decision. As the week progressed and the time leading up to departure drew near, he also noted how much Ethan had improved and the fact that he still had not required surgery. I remained skeptical and at first conceded to only packing a bag and reserving my right to change my mind up until the day I was set to leave (Thursday afternoon). Have I mentioned what a mensch I have for a husband?! Love that guy!

Once again, there were so many logistics to arrange. Who would stay with Ethan in the hospital while Scott was at work? Who would watch over Elyse? Who would … (fill in the blank)? As I pondered all of these questions, the song from The Clash “Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?” was playing on a loop in my head. As it turned out, these logistics were once again arranged and taken off my plate and plans were put in place.

With Ethan's continued improvement and Scott's words of, "We've got this!" my decision was made; I was going to Seize the Day and go for it! This turned out to be a remarkable choice and my time in Redondo Beach was spent surrounded by love. As a bonus, this weekend was also the Confirmation of my niece Colleen. Attending the Sunday Mass (a first for me!) was particularly moving and enriching in giving me insight into her commitment to her faith.

With gratitude in my heart to so many people, I will return to Cincinnati tomorrow.

May we all find ways to Carpe Diem,

Alexia