Heal Us Now







Heal Us Now

***With gratitude and love to a sensational musician and dear friend, Dan Nichols, who recorded this rendition of Heal Us Now in honor of this moment (if needed, copy/paste this link into a new page to enjoy)

Scott and I are returning from an extended time away. We planned for this trip over the course of the last year, coordinating nursing schedules, stocking up on medical supplies, dotting all i’s and crossing all t’s (even crossing all fingers and toes for good measure), and finally whispering into Ethan’s ears upon our departure to “stay the course.”
We returned to Hawaii, a sacred place for the two of us, a place we used to travel to more frequently when we lived on the west coast, and where we hadn’t been to as a couple for 23 years; the last time in 2001, when we dropped off 4-year-old Zak and 1-year-old Ethan with their Nana and Papa in Seattle (pre Elyse). Our lives looked a lot different back then, as did our hopes and dreams for our futures and the futures of our children.

Who could have predicted how needed this journey was for us to take together? Amazingly, these 10 days have felt like 10 weeks. This time away has provided us with glimmers of hope and healing, two things that have evaded us for 11 years.
In the initial weeks/months/years following Ethan’s accident we would sing the Mi Shebeirach in synagogue—knowing that as we called out Ethan’s name for healing, there were countless others who held Ethan’s name in their hearts and on their lips—and we truly believed he would experience more healing. It wasn’t until several years ago, when we determined there was a greater need for providing the most comfort care over thoughts of further rehabilitation, that the Mi Shebeirach opened doors to new understandings for us.
Then, in more recent years, we heard a new song (at least for us) called “Heal Us Now”—something in this song tugged deeper into our souls, making us realize that while Ethan’s path to healing in ways that we yearned may not be possible, there was still the possibility for us to achieve a healing of mind and spirit, both essential as lifetime caregivers.
As we returned to these beautiful islands looking for peace, hope, wholeness, and healing, we found all of these and so much more. We opened each of our senses wide to experience the healing beauty of these lands. There were times for laughter and times for tears. This beautiful song started playing on a loop in our hearts as we passed through each day.
Recognizing that we each have a finite time to live, and knowing that there are no guarantees for a long life, we wonder why we can’t collectively find a path to peace and wholeness. We are not the only ones in need of healing—there are also Our families, Our Friends, Our People, Our World.
May each one of us find a way to healing moments,
Alexia and Scott




















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