I often find myself traveling back in time to the before June 29, 2013 days, months, and years. Many things take me back—songs, words, photos—and most often leave me with a smile and a happy memory. We had a beautiful, full life; our marriage was strong, our kids were thriving, our extended families were healthy and doing well.

Today, I’m thinking about the week leading up to June 29, 2013. Two of our kids were at summer camp, having the time of their lives. For Elyse, it was her first experience at sleep-away camp and based on the letters we were receiving, she was thriving. For Ethan this was his second time attending and by his letters, he was also having a great time, as well as assuring us that he was keeping an eye on his little sister. As for Zak, he had just departed on a 6-week Eastern European and Israel trip. For the first time in 16 years, Scott and I were going to experience a totally empty house. It felt strange and exciting at the same time. We spent much of that week working and choosing restaurants to dine at that we’d been wanting to try. We packed our bags for a week-long road trip that would eventually put us in the vicinity of the camp where we would pick up Ethan and Elyse. We put the finishing touches on Ethan’s bar mitzvah invitations and took them to the post office. With such a quiet house, I remember feeling a bit sad that the days of having a young family were winding down…

Sometime earlier this month, we crossed over the line with Ethan being in this body/form/condition longer than in his original one.

As difficult as the years have been since June 29, 2013, life has continued to grow around this most horrible tragedy. Our family has expanded: our oldest son got married and we have welcomed a daughter-in-law, and this year a grandchild. Our youngest daughter is preparing to move abroad as she pursues a graduate degree in Microbiome Sciences at the University of Vienna.

Our marriage is still strong, and only gets stronger with each passing year, our children continue to pursue their dreams, and yes, even Ethan experiences joyful moments each day. We have a lot to be thankful for.

A snip of lyrics from “Soak up the Sun,” by Sheryl Crow swirls around in my head at this moment ***It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got…”

It’s important to remind ourselves to shift our mindset to living and experiencing all the life that we can in the time that we have.

L’chaim!